Pre-heat oven to 160°C fan-forced. Line the base and sides of a 20cm cake tin.
Place butter and sugar into the bowl of an electric mixer. Beat until pale creamy. Add eggs one at a time until well incorporated. Add vanilla, mixing well.
Add flours and milk alternately until well combined and batter is smooth.
Pour batter between prepared tin and bake for 55 mins, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Cool in tin for 10 mins before removing to a cooling rack to cool completely.
Meanwhile, combine water and coffee, mix until coffee is dissolved. Stir in crème de cacao, set aside to cool.
For icing, place cream cheese in a large mixing bowl. Beat with electric beaters until soft and creamy. Gradually add icing mix with 2 tablespoons of the coffee mixture until mix is smooth. Fold in whipped cream until well combined.
For assembly, cut cake horizontally into three layers. Place bottom layer onto serving plate and drizzle with ⅓ of the remaining coffee mixture. Spread a good dollop of icing over the cake. Repeat layering with coffee mix and icing until all cake layers are used. Spread the outside of cake with remaining icing and sprinkle with grated chocolate. Refrigerate for several hours or overnight before serving.